EDITOR'S LETTER: Telling Situation
by Paul Doocey
January 8, 2013
From the Weird Stuff That Occasionally Crosses My Desk Department
recently came the following press release:
Botox-like treatment from SmoothMed prevents poker
players from giving away their hands
NEW YORK, Nov. 26, 2012—SmoothMed today
announced PokerTox, a new treatment designed to reduce the “tells” for serious
poker players. SmoothMed now brings the reality of a true poker face that is
custom designed for your expressive strengths and weaknesses. Whether you are
entering a tournament or just part of a serious weekly game, this is your
opportunity to win! All serious players know that the luck of the cards is only
half the game and the rest resides in your poker face. Through appropriately
placed use of Botox, and in some cases filler, Dr. Berdy works with your
desires to hide or accentuate your “tells” or micro-expressions. This is your
chance to game the game.
Dr. Jack Berdy specializing in Aesthetic
Medicine and the Medical Director of Smoothmed Medi Spa in Manhattan has
developed a new focus for Botox treatments that can create a true poker face
hiding your true thoughts behind a mask of relaxation. “With an adjusted
concentration, our experience, and practical skills of facial sculpting, we can
give you a rested affect or accentuate expressions as you may desire. After a
few days, you will begin to notice a relaxed, rested appearance in a very
natural way that without effort can be maintained at the pinnacle of excitement
or the trough of disappointment as the cards may dictate.”
Where to begin with
this? To start, I don’t know if I want anyone to use “filler” on my body, it
sounds a little too much like auto repair work to me. Also, do you really want
someone with the last name of “Berdy” sculpting your face, especially if you’re
female?
But who knows, maybe
it’s the beginning of a trend—using medical procedures to gain an advantage
over the house. I can envision a future where players graft on an extra finger
or two so they can push the slot buttons a little quicker. Or how about an
extra set of eyes to better keep track of cards during a hand of blackjack or
an extra supple wrist that makes rolling seven a cinch at craps? The
opportunities are truly endless…
Seriously though, the
medical industry might as well cash-in on poker since the domestic gaming
industry has had a hard time doing so, at least recently. A poker craze swept
across casinos a decade ago, fueled by the popularity the World Series of Poker
and other televised Texas Hold’em tournaments and the ability to play the game
online for money. Poker rooms in casinos large and small were expanded to meet
the new demand. However, the trend stalled when the U.S. government enacted the
Unlawful Internet Gaming Enforcement Act, essentially criminalizing wagering at
online poker sites. Without the Internet component, poker interest in the U.S.
started slowly to wane.
But poker appeared on
the verge of revival this past year thanks in large part to a revised ruling by
the Justice Department that the Wire Act—the law making Internet wagering
illegal—only applied to sports betting, essentially clearing the way for states
or the federal government to regulate i-gaming. A number of cash-starved states
immediately launched legalization efforts, many centered around poker, which is
viewed as the type of web-based wagering most likely to garner widespread
legislative support. Even the American Gaming Association got in on the
excitement, supporting efforts to create a federal bill to regulate online
poker.
So far,
unfortunately, all this momentum has mostly been for naught. The federal effort
to regulate online poker did not get far past the talking stage, and has been
shelved until sometime later this year as Congress grapples with the fiscal
cliff. Many of the state initiatives have also stalled, waiting for further
impetus.
It’s starting to look
like more than a facelift will be needed to make online poker legal throughout
the land.
Paul Doocey
is editor of Casino Journal magazine. He can be reached at dooceyp@bnpmedia.com.
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