No matter how much I complain in my writing or in my consulting or as “just another customer,” stupid stuff at casinos just seems to endure.

I see a lot of stupid stuff at casinos. I try to point it out every chance I get. But no matter how much I complain in my writing or in my consulting or as “just another customer,” the stuff just seems to endure. Or new stupid stuff mutates. It’s like trying to stamp out the latest version of the flu. There’s obviously no good vaccine for stupid stuff.

I will admit that casinos have made some progress on stupid stuff. For instance, you don’t see as many snarling security officers (or “rules of prohibited conduct”) at casino entrances anymore. And more dealers are now welcoming players to their tables before they inspect for counterfeit currency.

But it seems it’s kind of like fixing the leaks in a dam - plug one hole and two more leaks pop up somewhere else. The same with that dastardly stupid stuff.

And while you may accuse me of only sharing my “pet peeves” here, I assure you that I’m not the only one who has them.

Not-so-fine lines

Hey, Ms. Cage Manager, I know you’re trying to serve your “internal customers” when you allow your employees to transact their business in the same lines that serve casino customers. But have you ever watched the look on your customers’ faces when they have to wait for an end-of-shift cocktail server to cash out her $112.50 in tips - made up of chips, tokens, coin and currency - with some casual conversation thrown in as well? Get an “employee only” window and get it out of public view.

Greetings from the building

Mr. Marketing Guru, you have gotten pretty good at sending me birthday greetings, anniversary greetings, holiday season greetings, even “thanks for joining the players club” greetings. But why do you usually sign these cards and notes with the name of the building (“The _____ Hotel Casino”)? Or some generic term like “staff” or “management”? Don’t you people have names? And you might even think about having these notes signed by an employee that I’ll actually see, like a host or a players club rep or a slot service person. Sure, I’d like to get a personal note from your GM, if I ever had a chance to actually meet the person.

Whine (with no cheese)

Listen, you casino department heads, I come to your casino, at least in part, to get away from everyday worries for a few hours. So when I have to listen to your employees complaining to each other about recent layoffs or stupid new rules or the lack of employee raises for the last two years, well, it just makes me feel that I’m at work, not at play. And when they do it in Spanish (or Tagalog or Mandarin or anything but English) I get paranoid that maybe they are whining about me.

Too many 4's, not enough 2's

Hey, Ms. Food and Beverage Director, I’m not a genius when it comes to your restaurants. I just know that I want to eat quick and get back to gambling. But I do notice stuff, and it seems that most of your customers either eat alone or with one other guest. So why all those tables for four with empty seats while “ones” and “twos” wait in line?

'Vette for Grandma

Have you lost your mind, Mr. Promotions Manager? I mean, using a Corvette for your big promotional giveaway? When your top customers are 60 years old with blue collar backgrounds? And who would probably prefer cash prizes so they could actually put their prize winnings back in your slot machines? It’s kind of tough putting those hubcaps through your bill validators. … And while I’m thinking of it, quit giving away foreign cars in these challenging economic times.

Environmental B.S.

Ms. Housekeeping Manager, I really do like helping you support the environment by using my towels and bed linen an extra day or two. I even hang the used towels on the racks, just like you ask me to do. But guess what? I always get new towels. Sounds like you need some work on your organizational environment.

Yes, stupid stuff is pervasive and insidious, and I guess I am powerless to stop it. But perhaps if I keep pointing it out a few of you might just take up the cause of stomping out all things stupid.

Sounds pretty smart to me.